23rd Mar, 2018

That ? sure won’t be me! Tuseme tu ‘things are really looking up!’

Last week I invited you to share in my happiness over the news of my trip to Russia to watch the 2018 FIFA World Cup. I even invited you to join in on the trip! Sema blessings on blessings? Looks like I’ll be passing by Australia on my way to the World Cup!

Aaah, I remember my sad days as a foreign student. Psyke! I really went to a dingy ‘business school’ pale downtown. Downstairs ilikuwa Fish ‘n’ Chips fulani; but we thank heavens. ? I’m joking… Now you’re confused.

The thing is, even when you were in boarding school in the middle of stretches of tea farms, nothing could ever fill the shoes that were home. I remember holding on to the tiniest things that would make me feel closer to home. How many times did you or your bunky (bunkmate) feign sickness just to go home for a few days? Or how about those days you’d keep chapos from Visiting Day in your box, btw ninahope mlienda kufungua hoteli ?. Ama the way we used ‘home clothes’ for pajamas? Or how you wouldn’t disclose the full fee figure ndio ufukuzwe shule (I cannot make this up, I schooled with some very strange people). All I’m saying is that I know what it feels like to be homesick – a terrible disease that.

This is the story of the 100K Kenyans living in Australia. But hang tight, home is coming to you! It’ll be like a mini Visiting Day in it’s own way, yet still so big. We’re bringing a bit of that Kenyan vibe your way. Get ready Kenyans living in Sydney, Melbourne, Canberra, Adelaide, Perth, Goldcoast and Brisbane! KCB is coming!

Mark your town and wait to rep for it! Below is our itinerary:

We’d like to tell you that tunakuja just for a visit but you know this is the classic ‘two birds one stone’. The thing is, a bank account from your hometown could be that little piece of home.

So tell you what? We’re coming to discuss financial management. We’ll get you in touch with relationship managers who’ll be at your service when you are away from home. The beauty of internet banking will be your song. We’ll make it that much easier to track your monies and as well access it. Let’s not get into the deets of the frustrations that come with sending money back home; but rest assured we’ll be helping out there too. We’ve been brewing and bettering our Diaspora product for you guys so you bet the sizzle will be super loud! We also want a face-to-face ndio tufungue roho and have honest conversations about the product so we can tweak them to your desires coz sisi ni wale wasee.

And let’s be honest, your money habits will always be Kenyan so trust a Kenyan bank to help you get it handled. ?

Watu wa Adelaide mpo? Mmeangukia sana seeing as 25th March will be a Sunday, what’s a Sunday without some fun in the sun ?! Tutachoma nyama (na picha, I’m kidding) and have a good ol’ throw down because what else screams Kenyan like nyamachoma? Mkitaka pia naeza wapangia KDF kadhaa – we bet you’ve been wondering what this craze is. When you spot me just approach and demand your KDF.

If you’ve got a relative residing in the great Aus, unaweza tuma salamu.

Off to pack – feel that waru? Imeze tu! ?

Over & Out,

The Witty Banker